What Type of Poop Are You?
A very serious (and very silly) scientific personality quiz to see which Bristol stool type you truly embody.
5. How do you handle stress?
A. I catastrophize and over-prepare.
B. I talk it out or journal.
C. I nap and pretend it doesn't exist.
Small, separate, hard lumps. You’re structured, driven, and possibly constipated—from stress and ambition. You get everything done—but at what cost?
A lumpy, sausage-shaped overachiever. You’re high-functioning with a few cracks showing. You keep it together, but could use a nap and a smoothie.
Cracked sausage = healthy ambition. You’re balanced and flexible—structured enough to thrive, relaxed enough to poop regularly and sleep 8 hours.
The gold standard of stool and personality. Chill, reliable, and emotionally regular. You set the vibe and get things done.
Soft blobs with clear-cut edges. You go with the flow—maybe a little too fast. Your energy is contagious, but so is your disorganization.
Fluffy, mushy, chaotic. Your life is a caffeine-fueled fever dream. You're brilliant but often emotionally soggy. Slow down. Eat a vegetable.
Pure liquid. You’ve transcended structure and possibly reality. You’re either having a breakthrough or need immediate hydration and a nap.
